Puppy Private School

Conversation between myself and a co-worker on Friday:

Co-Worker: What are you up to this weekend?

Me: Layla has an interview at a great Day Care on Saturday, I’m really nervous about her getting in since we have been on the waiting list for a year now. And Sunday we are going to the Giants game.

To any outside observer, this is not an abnormal conversation in the Silicon Valley. Except that Layla is not a person, she’s a dog. And I’m desperate to get her accepted into a good daycare/boarding center. Why? Because I don’t have children. Also because stupid chain places like PetSmart and the Pets Hotels, etc charge a ridiculous amount of money to put your dog into a kennel and feed them twice a day. I’d rather pay a little less to have her play with other dogs and not freak out and bark 13 hours per day. When we went away Labor Day weekend, she literally lost her voice from barking so much. I didn’t even know that was possible for a dog. So really I’m trying to get her accepted somewhere where I can get my money’s worth in boarding her when I have to go away. Stop judging, I know what I sound like.

Her interview, however, did not go well.

Saturday morning came and I scrambled to finish her application (yes, application – it was 3 pages long!) and attach all of her forms and files from the vet before taking her on an hour-long walk trying to get her nice and tired before the interview. Layla is special in that she’s high energy, but also a rescue dog. Her behavioral issues are a constant work in progress, and more often than not I look like a clueless girl trying to walk a 22lb Tasmanian devil on a leash.

Sensing my stress I’m sure, we headed to our interview and tour of the facility at 11am. The place was perfect. We met with the trainer, and another prospective family. A doctor and her engineer husband and their 4-year-old lab mix, possibly the most docile dog I’ve ever seen. Already the odds were not in our favor. Though we have great jobs, I’m not a surgeon and Vic is not a computer programmer. Needless to say, I was stressed.

The people were perfectly nice, and Layla was surprisingly calm and curious as we toured the “sleeping quarters” – you have a choice of group sleep on futon/beds/couches or private suites with big TV’s and couches – and the play areas, and then it came time for the evaluation. We were instructed to wait for Layla in the other room while they evaluated her skills with other dogs and people in the back.

Sweating bullets, I waited on an old leather couch anxious that my damn little dog was going to screw it all up with one of her odd quirks. 15 minutes later, she was led out, excited to see us, and we were escorted to another room for the final evaluation. Here we learned that she exhibits, “Very fun and appropriate play attitudes with other dogs. She’s engaging, happy, and not aggressive at all.” But we also learned that she lunged and barked at the head trainer. Of course. They want to make sure that they can “handle” her, and though I assured them that even if she’s barking her head off you can pick her up no problem, she’s ALL talk, they still maintained that they are “concerned” for her behavior with the handlers.

Basically, she plays well with others, but tries to hit the teacher and I’m sure would be the kid that eats paste. Not an ideal candidate for school.

So rather than rejecting us outright, they are letting us have a trial day on Wednesday. I’m hoping it goes well. If this is any indication for what our future holds – I’m terrified. We just want her to have a bright future:

 

Dog Beaches in San Francisco

Seems like a simple enough Google search, no? Oh, I was so, so wrong.

Those were the exact words that I typed into Google on Sunday morning. The sun was shining, it was unseasonably warm that day – over 80 – and the dogs were itching to go outside. I didn’t have much desire to make the epic journey to Carmel with the dogs that day, and as my laziness kicked in, and so did instant search. I found Baker Beach, which boasted sweeping views of the golden gate bridge, and allowed off leash dogs! I am always hesitant to take my dog to a beach where she has to be on leash the entire time. It seems to ruin the fun. She LOVES to run in the sand, swim in the ocean, dig, and hurdle. It’s as though her whole body at the beach is the definition of true happiness. She’s also still in training – coming from an abusive and neglecting former owner, she’s extremely attached and very weary of humans. She’s great off leash, and I love making her feel comfortable around large groups of people. I’m hoping some day she will begin to figure out that not all people want to hurt her. Needless to say, I’m a total mom.

So – we packed the car with WAY too much stuff, and headed to the beach – and man, pictures just can’t do justice for how beautiful it was, but I will try: (also – please excuse that these pictures were all taken on my cell phone as my camera’s battery decided to die right when we arrived):

See? It was unbelievably beautiful! Though, as you can probably tell in this picture, Kahlua disappeared for a little bit. After a slight panic, we discovered that she had replaced us with what she had determined to be a better family. She was sitting on a blanket with a young couple and their adorable baby. She was very unhappy when we took her back. I’m convinced that she was ready to leave us forever.

After acquiring the fatty, we headed down the beach toward the bridge. It was unbelievably picturesque: families picnicking, babies splashing in the water, kids building sand castles. Save for the dirty sand, it was perfect. Unfortunately things started to go a bit awry, a weird guy, mid twenties with a ponytail, boardshorts and a pack of camels tucked into his palm as though it was his only possession in the world decided that he wanted to “play” with Layla. And by “play” I mean run after her, holding his hands up and growling and barking in her face. I asked him to please stop – she had been doing SUCH a good job of ignoring people – but now she was scared, alert, and barking her head off at this guy. So of course, when a kid ran by she freaked out and started barking at the kid. I was SO mad! Is this normal? After spouting some choice words at this guy (use your imagination) we got the dog back on the leash and under control. Much to our dismay.

So we shook it off and kept walking. Suddenly, I saw something even more abnormal. There was a man, standing with his feet in the surf, naked. Old wrinkly ass reflecting in the sun. Quickly I point this out to Victor, who then spotted another, and another. Sure enough, the further we went down the beach, the more naked people we encountered. Vic pulled out his iPhone and checked – sure enough, it was also a clothing optional beach! Shouldn’t that have been in the description somewhere?! Best dog beach (ps – you may see some full frontal nudity as well)? Seriously people, if it’s a nude beach, give me some warning before I end up balls deep in family fun day.

Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised by this, but I seem to find it a bit odd that the only people choosing to partake in the “clothing optional” part of the beach were older, impeccably groomed (again, use your imagination people) men. Not a naked lady in sight. Also, it should be noted that I am not mature AT ALL. So my husband, embarrassed and slightly amused at my giggle fit directed me away from the naked people and back to the part of the beach that had more clothed people. It should also be noted that this beach is not big. It’s small, and by no means segregated into “nude” and “non-nude” sections. Definitely not the way I expected my family fun day to end up.

Oh San Francisco, you weird, weird city. However, can you really beat this view?

At the end of the day, this still takes my breath away.