I love Tina Fey. Like, total girl boner for her (sorry mom). She is hands down my idol.
To start this story I need to tell you that I’ve always had a thing for D-list celebrities. In my days working in television I met all sorts of celebrities: Mark Wahlberg, Gwen Stephani, Elton John, you get the idea – big time celebs are a piece of cake for me.
The D-listers though? They are my gold. My husband will tell you of the time I humiliated him when I saw Richard Belzer on the street in TriBeCa and had a total meltdown. Who, you ask is Richard Belzer? First – fuck you. (Sorry again, mom). Second – he’s Detective Munch on Law and Order: SVU (aka the only Law and Order worth watching):
comedic relief in your weekly dose of rape and murder
I’ve spent many odd years of my life in sweatpants watching Law and Order: SVU. I can tell you pretty much anything you need to know about the criminal justice system when it comes to sex crimes. The verdict? Make sure the crime scene is covered in semen. Then you can, as they say on the show, “Nail the bastard.”
But I digress. You see, though Tina Fey is a huge celebrity now, back when she was just kind of famous for doing the news on SNL, I was sort of obsessed. It all started when she wrote the movie Mean Girls. NOT because my name is Cady, but because it was the first movie about high school girls where I watched, mouth agape, thinking to myself, “Oh. My. God. She totally gets it. I’m not alone. Someone else gets it!” And even though I have spent the last 7 years responding to, “Oh, your name is CADY? Just like Mean Girls!” (Including a cashier in Dublin three weeks ago) It was worth it.
Mean Girls came out in 2004 – and that marked the year I decided to become a writer. I went to school for screenwriting to write movies that were as hilariously true as this one was, because I got it, just like Tina did. How did I do as a screenwriter in Los Angeles? Ask the pile of scripts under my bed…
Anyway – I continued to write, all through grad school, where I studied – you guessed it – writing (and reading, and old dead guys thoughts on it all, blech). And then, my mom discovered a tv show called 30 Rock. She called me one night to tell me about it, and the conversation went like this (from what I remember):
Mom: I just saw the funniest show, you have to watch it. It’s with Tina Fey, the girl from SNL you like so much.
Me: Is it called 30 Rock? Yes, I wanted to watch it.
Mom: No, you just don’t understand, the main character is you.
Me: She reminds you of me?
Mom: No. She literally wrote you as a character. She’s you.
Which lead to her calling after every episode where Liz did something that was so “me.” Like when they ended Night Court. Or when Liz sits on the couch in a snuggie eating cheese and singing, “Night Cheese!” to the tune of “Batman” from the 60′s. You know, the old one where every time they threw a punch the words POW! or BANG! would appear? God, I loved that show.
Or the episode where she decides she can never get a man and shows up to work in sweatpants, a crew neck sweatshirt, a fanny pack, uggs, and a cat in a carrier. (I can neither confirm or deny that I have worn that exact outfit on any occasion).
she's rocking that outfit
I could go on and on here. Including the one where she says, “You did it in my bed? I eat in there!” You get the picture.
So needless to say, I have always admired her. She recently wrote a book, called Bossypants, which you have to read because it’s hilarious. Really – the funniest book I have read in a very, very long time. I read it in two days and laughed aloud on a plane full of judgemental people. I may or may not have deserved it considering that I have the loudest laugh ever.
The day I finished the book I went to work. When I got there, I found an email in my inbox that was calling to me. It said that Tina Fey was coming to the office to be interviewed about her book.
I peed a little.
TINA. Coming to my work. MY work. I die. It was better than when Lady Gaga came to work. Seriously – this was the greatest news ever of all time.
So I went to the interview, and the time came for questions from the audience. I had the perfect opportunity to ask her my question. So I went up to the microphone, made eye contact with my idol, and asked the perfect question: “Hi Tina. My name is Cady. Spelled just like Cady Heron, which has caused people to comment on my name for the last seven years. My question for you is, do you plan on writing any other movies any time soon? So that people can stop connecting me with Lindsay Lohan?” And then she laughed (at me!) and answered a witty comment about rehab, writing, and my name. It was the greatest moment ever.
Except none of that happened. What actually happened was that when the opportunity for me to speak to her, I got super sweaty and nervous and choked up and I couldn’t do it. I literally couldn’t do it. Even though she is super famous now, I still reacted like I do when I see people like the Duggars, or Cesar Millan. UGH. I suck. But it was still the coolest day ever. So go read her book. It’s awesome:
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